i posted a video and my husband didn’t have to help me.

i was excited to find craig caster’s parenting seminars online and for free! woo-hoo. i’ve been wanting to buy them, but never had the $60 laying around. well i do, but it’s in my “buy new couch someday fund” ( i have my priorities). so i would invite anyone who has a chance (more like 6 hours) to watch them. mostly to tell me what you think. actually, no matter what you think, i do believe they are good to watch. just because he does a great job emphasizing the fact that you don’t have to get angry to discipline. you can discipline just as well when you are smiling. and i think we too easily put anger and discipline together. really, you can have one without the other?

(this is just a clip by the way. the actual seminars are the previous link.)

Vodpod videos no longer available.
more about “GodTube.com – Disciplining Children“, posted with vodpod

i think you can get away with a pile of parenting mistakes if you just don’t get mad or even irritated.  i like to smile and say, “jehu, when mommy asks you to come you need to come fast. you are going to get a spanking to help you remember to come fast next time. okay?” and then he cries and i spank him and he cries more and then says, “i am all done crying.” but there was never any yelling, threatening, repeated warnings, dirty looks, impatience, or time out bouts – just a solid little smack on the cutest little butt you’ve ever seen.

sometimes parents don’t want to “hurt” their children. but if, instead, they have to result to manipulation, threats, or volume i think it ends up being worse. i like to keep my home the same overall tone. peace. consequently, when anyone wanders out of the safe zone, they get electrocuted. like those invisible fences (don’t worry, kids are fast learners). but it keeps life from being an emotional roller coaster. i want things to stay “here”. there are other ways too maintain boundaries too, of course. craig caster recommends applying “consequences” to instances of disobedience, usually chores. this is an area where i disagree with him. my dad thoroughly brainwashed me into believing that work isn’t punishment (work is good for you and you are going to do lots of it). i also dislike grounding or any kind of punishment that is prolonged. it tempts your children to feel bitter and resentful. and i especially don’t like bribery or any kind of reward system (in the future, no one is going to pay you to brush your teeth.) so i find myself kind of limited when it comes to discipline techniques and this seminar really raised a lot of questions for me. but i still liked it. if anyone gets any other ideas, let me know. but i thought i would share and i do recommend giving it a go.


2 Responses to “i posted a video and my husband didn’t have to help me.”

  1. 1 Grandad July 29, 2008 at 2:17 pm

    Relationship, relationship, relationship. All training has to be based on the relationship. Not rewards. Especially not edible rewards. So many grow up thinking that their god is there belly.

  2. 2 miriam July 31, 2008 at 6:25 pm

    Thanks for linking to these. I’m hoping they’ll help me feel less like I’m making this up as I go…

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