i should make him a craigslist ad. and then i should have him shave. i’m sure it would all work out in the end.
i was home for a week and helped my mother clean his room. it became very clear that reuben was in need of a woman. he needs a little dusting off. …out there cold and alone, hiding under a rock, waiting for his very own honoria glossop to come and flush him out. (i’m just trying to help point her in the general direction.) besides, my brother is the coolest. at least that’s what i thought while rooting through all of his stuff and organizing it in to little piles: guns, ammo, black powder, hats, archery, woodworking, leather-working, fishing, weight lifting, rock climbing, tree climbing, camping, hiking, biographies, records, knives, vintage clothes and ties, engineering, photography, calvin and hobbes, cycling, and yoga. (if i wouldn’t have visited and tidied they all would have thought he was just a hoarder. now they will think he is a man of diverse interests and many talents. now that’s smooth. thank me later.)
while there my mother threw a new year’s party in his man cave. so i invited my friends, made bubble tea and sushi, hung christmas lights and pictures, and gave him tips for entertaining in the future. he just looked at me. fat chance sister.
the bubble tea prior to the ice.
monica objecting to ever drinking boogers through a straw. do it anyways.
geoffrey upon discovering that the wasabi was not in fact guacamole.
idgi thinking that’s the funniest thing she’s seen all week.
every once in a while i get to try out the 11 foot table my father made me eight years ago. which has yet to fit in any of my houses. except my dream house, of course.
jehu thinking there’s just no place like grandma’s.
he’s exactly right.
gideon played ping pong for like four hours straight. until his arm cramped up.
dad showing the wagners daddy boy’s front page pullout. ”why yes, he is cute.”
visiting with friends, including my latin instructor from high school.
playing hacky sack. (“look, i’m a ballerina!”)
jael doubling as a net, waiting for midnight. gideon still playing ping pong.
stoking the fire.
i think only reuben and his friends actually made it to the new year without passing out of old age. i heard them setting off fireworks outside my bedroom window and then laughing hysterically while trying to blow up the foreign exchange student and the dog. no one told josue that you had to let go of the bottle rocket and no one told the dog they weren’t playing “fetch.” happy 2012.
p.s. reuben, if you mess up your room again i can make you a personal ad. keep your underwear off the floor. *m